I’m not even supposed to be here today

Have you seen Clerks?  That indie, black and white, documentary-style movie.  Jay? Silent Bob? If you haven’t seen it, you should.  Ok…maybe not, if you aren’t into that sort of movie.  I didn’t really care for it, even though it was funny.

The point of this little ramble?  One of the characters, Dante, says hopelessly throughout the movie, “I’m not even supposed to be here today.” Awwwww….. Sad face. 😦

And today I have spent a fair amount of time thinking about “meant to be”.  Serendipity. Being somewhere at the right place and at the right time.  Being where you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to be there.  It seems that, with all the moving parts of the universe, sometimes the timing is just off. But is it really?  Or is that just how it feels because things aren’t going your way?

If I look back at all the times I said, “I’m not even supposed to be here today,” I really WAS supposed to be  there.  Every moment is an opportunity to get some thing. Some takeaway. And it is my job to find it.

So, the question is: What did I take away from today?

Well, partly that the universe is kind of fucked up. But, that I need to be patient.  There is something coming, right around the bend.  And I need to be patient for it.  I need to not mistake patience for inaction.  There IS a difference.  Good things are like snowflakes – unique and tiny.  You almost need to have a microscope to see the beautiful little miracles that are sprinkling down at every moment of every day.

Tonight, I will sleep.  And I will have the most wonderful dreams of peace.  And take stock in the fact that even though I’m not where I want to be, I am where I need to be, and that will have to do for now.

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