I have long said, “We teach people how we want to be treated.” I believe this. And I have done some work to change certain parts of my life because of it. What I find, though, is that I whine, “Why do I always have to deal with blah blah blah.” Um. Yeah. You know why? Because I allow it.
Today’s particular annoyance is at work. I enjoy my job, and truth be told, I am happy here. But, as I always have done, I take too much responsibility. I am constantly adding more to my own plate. And I can manage it for a while, but as soon as something goes awry, I spiral out of control into a sad state of disaster. Additionally, I am way underpaid for what I do.
Money isn’t the driving force for me. It never has been and it never will be. But at times like this (at the end of a Thursday when I have already worked 46 hours and will go home to spend another 2-3 hours working), I find myself a little weary. Not the girl who needs to have her hand held or pats on the back every 10 minutes just for showing up, right now, I need a shitload of appreciation for the amount of work I do.
(Side note: I’m wallowing. I know – but just stay with me a little while longer; I have a point.)
2011 is the year I will change this. I expect to be appreciated. I expect to be compensated for my efforts. I expect to be supported. I expect to work hard and be recognized for it. Mostly, I expect to not be everyone’s whipping girl. And only I can change this. Only I have the power to start re-teaching people how I want to be treated.
That will start today. Because I am worth more than constant exhaustion and never ending stress. I deserve to walk away, after 50 hours of work a week, and know that I am truly appreciated. But it will take the dedication and effort to not only say that I deserve it, but to demand it.
And I will. Starting right now.