2011 – The year of not being the whipping girl

I have long said, “We teach people how we want to be treated.”  I believe this.  And I have done some work to change certain parts of my life because of it.  What I find, though, is that I whine, “Why do I always have to deal with blah blah blah.”  Um.  Yeah.  You know why?  Because I allow it.

Today’s particular annoyance is at work.  I enjoy my job, and truth be told, I am happy here.  But, as I always have done, I take too much responsibility.  I am constantly adding more to my own plate.  And I can manage it for a while, but as soon as something goes awry, I spiral out of control into a sad state of disaster.  Additionally, I am way underpaid for what I do.

Money isn’t the driving force for me.  It never has been and it never will be.  But at times like this (at the end of a Thursday when I have already worked 46 hours and will go home to spend another 2-3 hours working), I find myself a little weary.  Not the girl who needs to have her hand held or pats on the back every 10 minutes just for showing up, right now, I need a shitload of appreciation for the amount of work I do.

(Side note: I’m wallowing.  I know – but just stay with me a little while longer; I have a point.)

2011 is the year I will change this.  I expect to be appreciated.  I expect to be compensated for my efforts.  I expect to be supported.  I expect to work hard and be recognized for it.  Mostly, I expect to not be everyone’s whipping girl.  And only I can change this.  Only I have the power to start re-teaching people how I want to be treated.

That will start today.  Because I am worth more than constant exhaustion and never ending stress.  I deserve to walk away, after 50 hours of work a week, and know that I am truly appreciated.  But it will take the dedication and effort to not only say that I deserve it, but to demand it.

And I will.  Starting right now.

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