The merits of ketchup

You can go ahead and file this under the most random post of the day.  I needed a topic and one was graciously provided to me.  So… here….we…go!

First off… ketchup? Or catsup? Is there a difference?  I mean, is it like the difference between sweet potatoes and yams (and yes… there is a difference).  Who cares, though, I suppose.  For the purposes of this blog, I say ketchup.  And I say it just like it sounds (ket-chup), although I realize that people say it all sorts of ways.  They’re wrong.  There.  I said it.

I’ve been infatuated with ketchup for as long as I can remember.  To be completely honest… my mom made a few things very well.  Everything else was mediocre.  And we were poor.  So guess what you always get through food banks?  Ketchup.  I put it on everything. And by everything, I mean absolutely everything.  I’m fairly certain that I didn’t develop taste buds until I was 20 years old.  Among the favorites that I would use ketchup on:

  1. Eggs (but really… who doesn’t do that?)
  2. Fries (duh)
  3. Fish Sticks
  4. Steak (oh yeah… I’m not kidding)
  5. Chicken.  Like, fried chicken.  Mmmmm….
  6. Rice (this really freaked out BFF #1 when I did that the first time.  She’s Japanese and I thought her head was going to roll off when I asked for ketchup)

But my very very very favorite?  Brace yourself….

Macaroni and cheese with ketchup

Holy moses.  You have no idea how much I love that.  My dad would also make something every now and then… he had a mexican name for it… I forget what it is now.  And so does he.  (He’s getting old, what can I say?)  But basically it would be ground beef and sliced potatoes fried in the beef fat, with some flour added to make it a little starchy.  Super. Duper. Ultra. Tasty.

But beyond the flavor, you can also use ketchup to shine copper pots and pans.  Been skunked?  Ketchup to the rescue!  Ladies who have chlorine damage can use ketchup to bring back the vitality and shine to their hair (I would just assume that while men can…they probably wouldn’t).  Not to mention… who hasn’t used ketchup in place of blood for a costume or on stage for a performance?  (For the record, I haven’t.  But I totally COULD!)

The only ketchup I never got behind was the colored kind.  Do you remember?  It was, like, green and purple.  It almost looked like poster paint.  It tasted the same, but something about smearing purple-ketchup-ish onto my hamburger was wrong.  Gross.

Although my tastes have improved and now I don’t use ketchup on everything, I still have my things.  I like messy food.  Yup.  I’m one of those.  Give me over-medium eggs, hashbrowns and ham and I will smother the whole damn thing in ketchup and mix it up like a breakfast casserole.

The merits of ketchup…. For me, it begins and ends with: It makes me happy.  And really?  Isn’t that all we want?

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4 thoughts on “The merits of ketchup

    • Actually, I *hate* peas. And hate wouldn’t be the strongest word. I abhor them. They have no redeeming value, at all, in my food world. They’re squishy, bland, and have a weird smell. I don’t mind snap peas, but regular peas? Gross.
      Thanks for reading!

  1. Ketchup is vile, no matter how you spell it.
    Though I’d be willing to eat it just to actually see someone’s head roll off in surprise. As long as it didn’t kill them.
    Ketchup. Blech.

    Peas rock.
    And when eaten with mashed potatoes, you can combine them and put them on the insides of your eyeglass lenses to make some hilarious cartoon eyes.
    Just sayin….

    • Who knew that ketchup was so polarizing? People love it or hate it. Peas… peas rank up there with shellfish. I could totally live without them. BOTH of them. Mushy and gross… and their flavor tastes like I imagine smelly feet would.
      On the other hand… using peas to make hilarious eyeballs inside glasses with mashed potatoes definitely *does not* suck. I might have to try that. Thanks for reading!

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